


Turn The Page

by haraldstad2joni



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Blood and Violence, Fluff, Gay Sex, M/M, Mechanic!Daryl, Sexual Violence, Stripper!Daryl, widower Rick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-07 21:21:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8816614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haraldstad2joni/pseuds/haraldstad2joni
Summary: The ex sheriff and widower Rick Grimes was in depression after multiple failure in his life. He met a financially-collapsed mechanic turned male stripper at night named Daryl Dixon. Together they were gonna prove that 'life is hard' ain't just three words of nonsense.





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a year since Rick Grimes resigned from Sheriff Department and ten months since he signed his divorce paper. It was a long way of uncertainty when he just rolling from town to town in his truck. Freedom, it was the name. He didn’t look for it, it didn’t really look like it, but it probably was. There was a bunch of depression awaited if he thought about things, but he didn’t. He chose to stay the hell away from anything. 

It was a hot day in a small town when Rick stopped at a car repair shop after he found that black smoke shit from his engine. He knew something wrong with his truck since two hours ago he left another town. This place was nothing like repair shop he used to see in Atlanta. This was old and full of rusty stuffs.

The garage was open but Rick didn’t see anyone around. It was very weird to see the repair shop written on the neon box but no one seemed working here. He was about to leave when someone came out of the garage. 

“Need help?” a deep voice in thick Southern accent halted Rick’s pace.

Rick turned around and found the one who got such manly voice, “ah yeah, I need to check at my engine, get some trouble on the way,” he studied the man who came closer to his car. He was a typical Redneck, in average height, maybe on his 40s, typical repairman in dirty looking, on a grey jumpsuit (wearing it only as trousers, left the top knotted on his hips as a waistband) with unruly straight dark hair down to his neck and _fuck-that-shit_ goatie. 

The man opened the truck’s hood. The muscles of his massive biceps contorted as he lifted it. He somehow reminded Rick to John Rambo with that sleeveless t-shirt. Rick just stood up looking at the repairman checking the problem. 

“Ya got some trouble with ECT here, man, yer not only got black smoke on yer engine, it’s overheating too,” the repairman mumbled. 

“Oh hell yeah, the best way is to replace that shit, that’s why I came here,” Rick said.

The repairman keep working, “it’s a nice Ford, very unfortunate. Ya should check your engine as often as you can.”

“I know. I just travel a lot lately, don’t have much time for that,” Rick smiled.

“Ya ain’t from this town, maybe somewhere far,” the repairman guessed without looking at the former Sheriff.

“Right, ‘come from Atlanta. You’re working by yourself?” Rick wished his question didn’t bother the man.

“Yeah for now, the other guy left last month, just me and my boss but he ain’t around for a week,” the redneck guy took a little break. He wiped his hand on his trousers and picking a cigarette. 

“Well, I thought no one is here,” Rick chuckled.

The man smirked behind his grey scruff, “I watch TV all day, thinkin’ no one comes around. It’s been three days without customers. A bad luck in small town, who cares bout old repair shop?” 

“It’s just because people are not around often. However this place is so nostalgic, I like this kinda thing,” Rick said.

“Yer the first one I heard sayin’ bout this old dumpster shit,” the man hummed and smirked again. Rick didn’t see him laugh or smile since they started the conversation.

Rick giggled, “so, how much is it to replace the coolant sensor?” 

“A hundred and fifty bucks,” the man walked to his garage to take some tools and the new spare part. 

Rick kept looking at an old Triumph Bonneville chopper bike parked in front of the garage while the man working on his truck. He didn’t even care about the cost.

“That bike over there, that’s cool,” Rick commented later.

“That belongs to my big bro, it’s gettin’ old, need more care, just ain't got the right time, man,” the repairman muttered. 

When the man finished his job, Rick offered almost all the money left on his wallet, “thank you,” he smiled.

The man hummed and put the money in his pocket, “ ‘m Daryl,” he gave a hand.

Rick giggled and shook that rough hand, “I’m Rick, nice to meet you.”

“Have a nice trip,” Daryl the repairman nodded. 

Rick headed to his truck when he saw another bike. It was a customed CB 750 Caferacer in chrome color, “that one is cool too,” he pointed at the bike. 

“Yeah, that’s mine. If ya wanna custom a bike, y’ can call me, I work on a bike too,” Daryl slipped a hand to his pocket and handed a lousy business card to Rick. 

“Thanks. This will help when I’m getting bored with truck, have a nice day,” Rick started the engine and nothing wrong happened. Daryl did his job well. He threw another smile and moved away. 

 

A week passed since Rick got his car repaired in a small town in McDuffie County. He went back to Atlanta to get something. He knew his house was going to be sold soon. Some stuff and things were too precious to be dumped so he tried to get them back. He didn’t remember how long he left this city now he missed how it looked at night. Event though he once worked outside the city and spent much of his time in there, he liked to spend some hours driving around by himself at weekend nights. 

Rick was a distressed man who didn’t want to realize that he died inside. So much pressure back then and it affected how he think and act lately. After taking some of his needs back home, he rolled around the town with no certainty until he stopped in a parking lot of a bar. There he could read on the huge neon box up there it was written “The Saviors”. For his lifetime as a sheriff, he never spent times in bar. He even just realized that there was a bar called The Saviors. 

He thought some hours in bar probably could help him escaped from shitty life he lived now. It cost 20 dollars to get in and made him thought what kinda bar this was. He realized it soon as he finally got in. It wasn’t even a bar like he thought before. It was a >em>gay club with _go-go boys_ on the tables. He knew he sounded like a big shit by getting inside this place, but he didn’t want to make 20 dollars unworthy. 

A widower on a gay club wasn’t uncommon. Many guys like that did so, but he assured that he was still straight as hell and the reason he got in here just because that stupid 20 dollars mattered. It was weird for him to see guys dancing in underwear teasing other guys for tips. Those views were enough to make his face reddened in discomfort. 

All seats were occupied for the VIP guests. Rick chose to stand on the back waiting the next performer go up the stage. The music started playing a naughty 90’s Southern country song. The performer appeared in a white Navy officer uniform with the iconic cap and a gas mask covering his face. The audience started getting more excited when he began moving his hips erotically. Both hands still covered in white gloves and he pulled them off one by one.

Rick went all blushed. He was ashamed of himself thinking how hot that guy was in Navy uniform. And, he knew that guy would strip himself off so he tried not to think how ridiculously excited he was. So, the guy started unbuttoned his Navy jacket slowly and naughtily. In a minute the jacket was thrown to the floor leaving the guy half naked only with white suspender lined across his bulgy muscular body. 

Rick couldn’t move his eyes away from the amazing massive biceps glowing in the stage lights. Those arms were a truly porn that sent electric shock to his body. The guy kept shaking his body more erotically this time. He pulled the suspender back and forth while rolling his hips. Rick envied his bulgy upper body and his contrast slim waist and flat abs. He was undoubtedly the superstar in tonight show. 

The performer ran a hand across his torso down to his abs and playfully pressing at his groin. He turned around and rolling his hips slowly with both hands cupped his own butt. Then he moved agilely to the floor, on four and simulated a doggy style sex position. All guys around must be hard just seeing at the performer who still covered his face in gas mask and wrapped in pants. 

A smile grew in Rick’s lips. He couldn’t lie to himself that he finally enjoyed the show. He just didn’t realize he probably started getting a hard on inside his pants. The more he enjoyed the performance, the more curious he got to see the face of that dancer. He wanted to see how that Adonis’ face looked like. 

The guy still moved his body following the naughty country music while one hand took that Navy cap off. He tried to make everything going slowly to build a perfect curiosity on his audiences. The next thing he did was loosen the gas mask straps until he finally throw it off somewhere. All audiences’ excitement rose with hilarious yells and applause. 

Rick felt his jaw literally dropped. He was depressed but wasn’t stupid enough not to remember who that guy was. It was just only one week since he got his truck repaired by the very same guy who was standing on the stage teasing hard-on men with his dance. It was _Daryl_ , for God sake! A very cleaner version of him with hair combed back and tied neatly in ponytail. 

The former sheriff felt guilty for almost no reason after found out whom that ‘Adonis’ was. Yet curiosity still nailed him on his place not to move anywhere until that sexy redneck’s show was over. Daryl put the cap back on his head. He smiled, unlike what Rick saw on the repair shop back then, he literally smiled and showing his perfect teeth. Didn’t even stop there, he played his tongue out naughtily while pulling his suspender and started moving again. 

Sweat covered Daryl’s body but he kept dancing, even more erotic and teasing this time. He lied down on his back and jerk hips upwards trying to express how sexually he wanted every man here to be harder and harder inside their pants. His intention was clearly to make everyone here paid attention to the bulge on his pants. 

Daryl got up pulling at his suspender again. He spread his legs and doing a very slow hips rolling. Sweating and hot, his tongue pulled out while both of his hands finally pulled at his tight pants. On a second the pants were gone and leaving him only on a small black leather men’s thong. Rick’s jaw dropped once again and even eyes almost popped out this time. 

It was a merely black thong—an erotic underwear without back. Daryl turned around shaking his naked ass to the audience. Everyone was getting a little bit out of control especially when he jumped down the stage and started choose one of the men on the seats. He giggled and landed on a young military-styled man’s lap. Rick couldn’t help but blushed and got his spit swallowed at the view. 

Daryl whispered something to that guy’s ear before started rolling and making friction with that guy’s hardened groin. He giggled when the guy slipped money in his thong’s waistband and giving him a little kiss on the lips before moving up to the stage again. 

He gave an instruction for everyone who wanted to go near the podium. He was on four again, now spreading his legs, moving up and down, tongue sticks out in his upper lip. He let everyone came closer, letting their hands roamed his skin. Rick swallowed hard seeing him get every inch of his skin fucked by hands except on his manhood and his the crack of his arse. Money was slipped here and there around his thong and he kept wiggling his ass with that naughty sex-inviting face still on. 

The rednecks opened his mouth in small ‘o’ and simulating a sex face. Like a little dog he wiggled his booty and drowned himself in every man’s hard-on thoughts. He smiled seeing everyone’s hands covered his tanned sweated skin. The moment he accidentally found Rick’s among the crowd got that smile disappeared from his face. He just kept moving but his eyes never left Rick. They knew they were looking at each other. There was an embarrassment in Daryl’s eyes when he faced Rick from distance. It was like a fear of making someone disappointed. Rick thought he caught that look but he nodded and smiled, kind of encourage Daryl that he wasn’t doing things wrong.

Daryl moved his eyes away and turned lying down on his back with hips jerk upward. He let more money fulfilled his thong. His head lolled back with eyes closed and that small ‘o’ in his lips like he got an orgasm on stage. Sweat covered more thickly and started tickling his body. Both of his hands wiped the sweat up and down and pushing two of his sweat covered fingers into his mouth. He sucked at those fingers and the audience turned crazier. Money flew to his surrounding while he kept doing that until the music stopped. 

The redneck got up and smiled when the show narrator asked the audience for more applause to the best tonight’s performer. Rick heard that the name of this repairman on stage was Wild Bowman and he almost laughed at that. He left the room when Daryl disappeared to the backstage with all money in the underwear. He knew he needed some fresh air and a bottle of cold beer and probably a pack of cigarette. Daryl’s performance was _breathtaking_ , not only gay guys admitted, even himself thought so. 

 

Rick wasn’t a smoker, but he didn’t want to lie that he needed maybe one or two cigarettes. He went to the parking lot and leaned on his truck’s hood before lit one cigarette. The smoke hit him right in his throat so he sipped his beer to soothe it down. The night air, cigarettes and beer made him feel better after that awkward hardening situation back to the show. 

“Got a lighter, bud?” that voice brought Rick back to reality after some stupid thoughts. 

“Ah yeah,” Rick mumbled, giving out the lighter and looking at the one asked.

Daryl stood next to him, leaned to the hood with a cigarette slipped in between his lips. He lit his cigarette and glanced at Rick, “hey, how’re ya and yer truck doin’?”

Rick smiled and giggled, “been doing good since then,” he kept smiling at the redneck who got into the parking lot only on a white bathrobe and still on his shiny white Navy shoes, “how bout you? Nice show by the way.”

“Cudn't be better,” Daryl smirked. He seemed like already returned to his real life mode as cold looking redneck, “thanks, but, what are ya doin’ here, Rick? Ya ain't, well, or are you?” he snorted. 

Rick’s eyes wide opened, “oh, no, I’m not, I just gave my twenty bucks at the entrance and couldn’t get it back, so, I came in, and there you are,” he chuckled. He knew this conversation was going to be super duper awkward. 

Daryl snorted, “quite shocking right? Seeing a dirty stink redneck mechanic at day and a gay club stripper at night,” he said

“To be honest, yeah it is,” Rick smiled coyly, “but that’s a well done performance, everyone was crazy ‘bout you. And, um, and that’s a nice Navy shoes you got there,” he looked down at the shoes.

“Thanks, Rick, it was a lil bit nostalgic,” Daryl said, looked down at his shoes, “ been in the Navy for six years, been long time not seein’ this shoes,” he smirked.

That was another shocking truth Rick could hear. This guy was once a Navy guy who turned automotive mechanic at day and gay stripper at night. What a cool guy, and what else he did in life, a CIA agent maybe, Rick thought. 

“Not all guys have guts to do that performance, you know,” Rick said. 

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded, “only the ones losin’ their mind, shameless shit or those ones who desperate about something.”

“Ah, I didn’t mean to, Daryl, I’m sorry,” Rick butted in guilt. 

Daryl chuckled, “don’t worry, this is life not everyone could see, be happy ya got the chance. Well, you’ve seen what I’m doing, so what about ya, Rick? What are ya doin’ for livin’?”

Rick looked at the scruffy Redneck for a while before answering his question, “I was a sheriff in DeKalb County, but I resigned and doing nothing lately,” only a half of his mind going with the answer, the other half one flying to the thought that Daryl was good looking as hell.

The redneck almost laughed, “well, I had a honorable guest tonight, the former sheriff of DeKalb County,” he teased. 

“Don’t tease, please,” Rick shook his head. 

“Ya look too hot to be a sheriff,” Daryl hummed playfully. 

“Come on, Daryl,” Rick couldn’t help but laughed and blushed. 

Daryl looked at those big blue eyes and chewing at his lower lip. 

“Daryl, boss is looking for you!” a man shouted out from the back door.

“Alright man, be there in minutes,” Daryl rolled his eyes and finished his cigarette but he didn’t move, even one inch, from those beautiful eyes. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Rick said shyly.

“I’m sorry to scare ya off,” Daryl raised his eyebrow and smirked, “see ya, Rick, call me sometimes.”

“Ah yeah, of course,” Rick laughed awkwardly.

“I mean, in case you wanna some custom bike, I’m a builder, remember?” Daryl clarified before he disappeared into the back door.

“Well, yeah, I see that, see ya, Daryl,” Rick stuttered and smiled in embarrassment. He kept shaking his head in disbelief about things that happened. He stopped at the Honda caferacer that so iconic and he remembered it belonged to Daryl. Then he jumped in his truck before leaving. 

 

“That was a perfect performance,” Daryl’s boss, Negan, poured a drink into a crystal glass. He put some magic powder in that drink. The redneck knew his boss tried to cheat against him but he just let him doing anything he wanted, "you are truly the new gem of this club, baby!"

“A bit silly nostalgic with that Navy shits,” Daryl chuckled and accepted the drink. He took a single shot of that whiskey. He looked at the other guys chattering to each other after the show over. In that fancy backstage he felt like someone else. He knew being someone else wasn’t cool, but he wouldn’t give that shit up if it wasn’t because of money he desperately needed. 

“Meet me in my room now, I have something to tell,” Negan grinned like a devil. He was also a sugar daddy, a former performer before he started establishing The Saviors and gained such success with his hot guys.

Daryl licked his lower lip and got up. He knew that magic powder worked quickly. He knew what meeting in Negan’s room meant. He knew what something Negan would tell.   
“Time to go home, gentlemen, thank you for your service tonight, y’all are fuckin’ awesome, don’t be late for tomorrow’s show, babes,” Negan said proudly to his men who started get dressed after that command. 

Negan locked the door when Daryl sat on his couch, “you’re truly my favorite guy so far, Daryl,” Negan took out his money, he counted on them and threw seven hundred dollars on the table before Daryl, “your reward this week is five hundreds bucks , and two hundreds bucks as a favor,” he chuckled. 

“Thank’s boss,” Daryl secured the money inside his bathrobe pocket as soon as possible. 

Negan unbuttoned his shirt and loosen his waistband when he kept looking at Daryl’s thigh that peeked through the cleavage of his bathrobe, “you know I've been very kind to you right? so, you know what to do, don’t you, Daryl babe?” he licked his lips.

“Yes, Boss,” Daryl helped Negan took his shirt off and pulled that pants down while he let his boss touching his thigh and up to his naked ass. 

“Look how beautiful you are, Wild Bowman,” Negan petted Daryl’s head before caressing his face and pulled him into a lustful kiss. By the time they melted into a kiss, Daryl already stripped his boss off while Negan pulled that bathrobe down and tossed it aside. 

Daryl was naked, letting his boss laid hands all over his body. Like it or not he turned hard after that drug. It was a routine ritual his boss did to him. He wanted him to give another service. A possible gratitude he could offer.

“Yeah, suck my dick, you dirty slut!” Negan shoved his hardened cock to Daryl who eagerly took that cock down his throat. Negan slapped him in the face, pulled his hair violently but he gave no shit. He kept sucking his cock like life. He choked but that ecstasy kept him taking his boss’ cock. 

Negan pushed Daryl to his bed on four. He pulled Daryl’s ass up while rolling a condom down his raging member. Only with spits he pushed one finger inside Daryl’s puckered hole and followed by pushing his dick forcefully into the tight ring of muscle.

Daryl cried in pain. He was too dry to be fucked but his boss always did whatever he wanted. If he found a bottle of lube he would used that but that thing was nothing to be found now. His head pushed deeper into the pillow under him and knuckles went white crushing the bedspread. It was a violent fuck but he couldn’t even move after the drug Negan gave to him. He just let his hole abused and tried not to think about anything but money. 

His big brother, Merle, was on hospital after a fatal accident. He kept earning money for his operations. He needed much money for the hospital cost to save his brother’s life. He would do anything to keep his brother alive. Five hundred dollars a week could help at least. And there was no instant job to make money except committing a crime. Doing a strip dancing and sleeping with the boss of his workplace were better than robbing a bank. At least, Merle didn’t need to know about this. He would rather be fucked as much as Negan wanted to have that money. The more he submissive to Negan, the more money he made. 

“Beg, Daryl, beg for Daddy to fuck you hard!” Negan pulled at Daryl’s messy ponytails roughly.

“Yes, yes, Daddy, fuck me hard, please!” Daryl did as his boss commanded. 

“You’re a little bad kid!” Negan pushed deeper and left only his balls outside slapping Daryl’s ass. His movement went rougher and faster, “I said beg!” he slapped Daryl’s ass until they reddened in pain. 

“Please, please, fuck me, Daddy, ah!” Daryl didn’t deny that he also felt pleasure in pain but he knew Negan wouldn’t let him come first. He didn’t even care that he would come or not. 

Negan started moving erratically, he pushed Daryl’s head down to the pillow. It hurt so much for the redneck who felt something warm fulfill the room in his hole and that painful throbbing sensation. Negan came with an annoying noise and pulled out immediately. 

“Clean it up, slut!” he pulled Daryl’s head up to his cock while his other hand unrolled the used condom.

Daryl went stunned. He didn’t react immediately like usual. “I said clean it up, you stupid hoe!” Negan beat him in the mouth powerfully until he bled.

Daryl jolted in pain but he didn’t fight back. He was made to be an object for Negan. Then, he sucked that shaft clean, tried not to think about how painful his mouth was and swallowed the remaining load as his boss commanded. 

“Good boy!” Negan pulled his cock. He collected his shirt and getting dressed, “next Tuesday night, don’t be late. You don’t wanna disappoint daddy, dontcha?” he grinned, opened the door and left.

Daryl said nothing. He just glanced at the door carelessly, still lied down on four with sore ass and painfully heavy cock. He sniffed, writhed until he lied down in his back and closed his eyes. At the end, he forgot how much he wanted an orgasm. The drug prevented him from the pleasure he eagerly longed. So he just fell asleep, waiting for the next day to come to see Merle again. The pain was nothing when he thought the money now belonged to him. 

Why money? Why he had to be pushed to beg for the root of all evil? Why he chose to live like this? Didn't robbing a bank is more honorable than selling his body? Daryl kept asking those questions even in his sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> struggles are getting real...

“Rick?” Daryl came out of the repair shop garage, “what are ya doin’ here?”

Rick giggled, “unfortunately, it’s not about the bike, in case you’re guessing.”

“Well,” Daryl hummed and crossed his arms in his chest. He let his hair all messed and didn’t even bother to fix it.

“I just passed by and remember that you work here,” Rick said. He couldn’t deny smiling at that hair.

“I know, what about some drinks?” Daryl asked and Rick shrugged, still with a stupid smile on his face. 

Daryl disappeared for a moment. Rick heard him talking to his repair shop boss about going out for a while and returned with two helmets and a leather vest. 

“Just leave yer truck here, gonna be on a lil tour, whatcha think?” Daryl put his vest on. 

“Why the hell not?” Rick chuckled as he accepted the helmet Daryl offered to him.

The redneck started his caferacer bike and waited for Rick to sit behind him. It was a little bit awkward for Rick to sit on that narrow backseat. There was no chance for him to make distance with Daryl. He would have to make contact with him no matter what. 

It was the first time for Rick to be in a motorbike with a new—well, quite strange, guy. And, it was the very first time too that he felt weird about being too close in physical contact with another man. What he thought about during the ride was mostly Daryl’s smell—a mixture of motor oil, sweat, cigarettes and sheer cologne. So weird that he thought it was a perfect combination. He also thought about Daryl’s massive biceps. He got them in an HD quality when those muscles flexed from controlling the handlebar of his bike. There were scars on his arms which no one would see in the stage at night. He must be covered them up carefully to make everyone thought he was perfect like expensive porcelain. Plus, the wing patch on the back of Daryl’s vest made this redneck couldn’t be more badass. And, he found it was really awkward because he had to put his hands in his own thighs while it would be better if he put them on Daryl’s waist.

They stopped at a small country bar and would have some moments to drink and chill. Daryl smirked at Rick and his ridiculous curly helmet hair. He wanted to tell him he was cute but he rather gave him that naughty look. 

“What takes ya on traveling around, Rick?” Daryl sipped at the brim of his beer glass. 

“Boredom,” Rick shrugged, “maybe a way to escape,” he smiled.

“So yer an escapist,” Daryl mumbled, “sometimes it’s good than actually facin’ the truth. I’d like to be an escapist too, but I can’t,” he looked at Rick in the eye and found a kind of trust he couldn’t figure out why. 

“What is it, Daryl?” Rick tried to something in Daryl’s eyes, “you got something to tell.”

The redneck snorted, “I don’t tell anything to strangers, don’t even talk to ‘em. Yer the first one I’d get along with.”

“So, I’m not a stranger, then,” Rick insisted. 

“We just met, Rick,” Daryl shrugged and lit a cigarette.

“But I know you wanna tell something, maybe share some stories,” Rick said.

“It’s gon’ make me sounds like a lil bitch, ain’t it?” Daryl puffed the smoke.

“Let’s pretend you don’t think ‘bout it,” Rick crossed his arms on his chest. 

“How can I trust you?” Daryl asked skeptically.

“You look at me in the eye and just figure out by yourself how you can do,” Rick’s eyes moved to the bruise hid under Daryl’s scruff. 

Daryl hummed, “Ya know what Rick? I never knew a straight man do such thing.”

Rick almost choked at the beer he sipped, “now you know,” he giggled. 

Daryl smirked, “well, it’s good when yer livin’ not to think much about money and shit. Money’s gon’ drag ya deep on fuckin’ hell. A hell ya ain’t gon’ get out easily.”

“There is always a way out, Daryl,” Rick said. 

“But not for this. I gotta make a lot of money every week. For someone like me, another option is sellin’ fuckin’ drugs, or killin’ someone outta street, or gettin’ myself into a bank robbery. I had a big plan ‘bout bank robbery before I went stripping, but that means jail and I hate to admit that I’ve been there for three years, ain’t gon’ back there,” Daryl started feeling he lost a lil bit of his self control. He never talked that much to anyone, even his own brother.

“Do your brother know about this? Why on earth he isn’t around?” 

Daryl sighed, he knew Rick would ask him this question sooner or later, “Bad as I hate to, but ‘m gon’ tell ya that he’s the reason why I do all of this fuckin’ shit. He’s been in a long coma for brain hemorrhage and he’s on a hospital in Atlanta now. I gotta get the money for another brain surgery and that crazy fuckin’ hospital cost. ‘Cuz I don’t wanna lose him, that’s it.” 

Rick didn’t know what to say. He thought such thing about sacrificing someone’s own dignity to save others was just in a cliché story. But he heard it and knew it wasn’t always like that, “sorry bout that, but I can help to lend you some, if you want to, and don’t bother about the payback.”

“I can’t, it’s just gon’ be another burden,” Daryl chewed on his lower lip nervously, “I don’t wanna ask anybody help for the money, maybe I just want someone to hear me.”

Rick smiled, “I’m the stranger who comes here just to hear you. This doesn’t sound straight, but the hell I care bout shit.”

“The fuck yer talkin’ bout, you’re talkin’ to the right person, so tell me, why are you on escape, Rick?” Daryl lit another cigarette soon after he finished the first one.

“I resigned from Sheriff Department, someone wanted to kick me away from my position, and I knew that. So when scandals and issues were thrown at me, the only thing I could do just leaving the department. I was never a corrupt officer in my entire career, but some people made others believe I was. So, when I went back home, things got uncontrolled. My family was broken. My wife cheated on me, she got pregnant with my best friend, then she took our only son away and what can I do? The divorce paper then comin in and my only option was just signed it. Now look at me I’m just a shitty wanderer,” Rick realized this was the first time he could be very open to someone about his problem. 

Daryl raised his eyebrows, “damn man, that’s one shittiest thing I’ve ever heard in life,” he snorted, “ ‘m sorry to hear that. I know I’m never alone, havin’ a shitty life like this. I thought someday ‘m gon’ see someone with a fucked up life, and here we are.”

They didn’t talk anymore. There were just cigarettes burning and beers getting emptied from the glass. Daryl tapped his forefinger at the table. He chewed on his lower lip again and looked at Rick. Many men could be good looking and charming but Rick was different for him somehow. He had been into men for many years but it was the first time he felt something strange inside. Something really new that pushed him, made him feeling difficult to sleep at night without really think bout that. 

Rick, with that big blue eyes and manly beard was possibly a new love interest for Daryl. But the redneck felt he was enough with hard life and shit that he didn’t have to think about romancing with someone. This was only the third time they met but Daryl almost fell for him. On the other hand, he thought he hoped too much to the wrong man. Rick was straight and he wasn’t. The only possibility happened might just befriending.

“Hey Daryl, are you alright?” Rick waved his hand in front of Daryl’s face.

Daryl blinked constantly and realized he was brought back to the real life, “Ah, sorry man. Yeah, yeah, ‘m fine, so let’s go, ‘m gon’ show ya this lil’ town,” he scratched his head and left money on the table before leaving. 

 

Daryl turned the engine of his motorbike off and parked it near the backdoor of The Saviors Night Club. He stepped in with helmet still on and backpack slinging in his shoulder. The dressing room was already full with his workmates. There, he greeted some guys before heading to the shower. 

He took shower for a minute cleansing all the oil, dirt and dust he got all day. Then he came out to put a tube in his cock. He got to pump his load out before the show. It was a regulation every male stripper should know. So he stood up pumping his cock until it swelling and red inside the tube. Paul helped him covering the big old scars in his back with concealer. That young guy had become his best buddy in this business. 

“Hey you can’t go upstage with that bruise on, Daryl,” Paul said, pointing at the blackened bruise hid under his scruff. So bad Paul found it and damn, that bruise should be already gone before someone asked about it.

“Nah, doesn’t matter,” Daryl shrugged.

“It does. How long it had been there?” the younger one with long blonde hair asked while trying to cover that bruise with the concealer, “did he done this to you again?” he whispered to avoid the other guys listened to them.

Daryl nodded, “you know the game, man. It was always me,” he mumbled.

“Damn, I should talk to him bout this,” Paul almost lost his control.

“No, don’t!” Daryl butted, “If ya do that, ‘m gon’ lose that money, ya know the deal, and stop bitching about it,” he hissed. 

“Alright, alright, I’m not gonna argue with you before the show like this,” Paul raised his eyebrows and put both of his hands up. He knew what kind of man Daryl was when he lost his temper.

“Ah shit,” Daryl cursed as he reached his climax. He looked down at the thick white covered tube before cleaned that mess up. Coming into a tube by a pump wasn’t the same as feeling an orgasm from sexual intercourse. The real orgasm he could never get, not lately. Well, not in so many years, to be honest.

At the tonight’s show Daryl would be a naughty firefighter, so he dressed up in that uniform and helmet. He kept looking at the mirror, thinking that this thing he did for living was right and wrong at the same time. Until he realized his name was mentioned, he ran to the backstage and in a countdown the show was finally on. 

There was a dancing pole at the stage tonight and he did his job to explore that. Everyone there was amazed by how great he did a pole dancing in that muscular built. Started with clothes on, ended with only money-stuffed underwear. 

Daryl collected all the money from his thong; he put it on the table, waiting for Negan to take them away. He undressed and cleaned up before wrapping himself in a fresh bathrobe. There was a bottle of vodka on the table next to all the money those guys put on. He didn’t care too much if it belonged to Negan and taking a big gulp. He knew one or two minutes later Negan would be here and counting all the money they made. In the next five minutes he would be on his room waiting to be fuck hard and rough. 

One and a half hour on a motorbike with small amount of sleep everyday made Daryl got more exhausted after the show. All he wanted was peaceful rest but the boss would never let him go before screwing his hole like an animal. He was submissive but not enough for Negan lately. Even since the first time he agreed with the sex game, Negan always beat him up. 

Negan came in. He was a nice looking and sharp dressed man, always bringing that smile up his life, being a boss acting like a real gentleman. Even not all of his performers knew what kind of beast he was behind that fancy mask. It was only Paul and Daryl. Paul was never into the game, so it was exactly only Daryl. But, he was responsible to be the person who brought Daryl into this business. 

“How is daddy’s boy doing tonight?” Negan whispered at Daryl’s ear after counting the money on the table. 

Paul took his shirt on, looking at both of them with anticipation that Negan would hurt Daryl when he was there. He worried about that one friend and felt guilty that he put him into this game. The game Daryl could never get out, even if he tried so hard to help. 

“See you Paul,” Negan grinned at Paul, indirectly ask him to leave. 

Paul nodded, “alright, boss. Take care of yourself, Daryl,” he looked at Daryl in concern before turned around and left. 

“It’s time to please Daddy, lil boy,” Negan chuckled and squeezed at Daryl’s groin. 

Daryl closed his eyes. He followed Negan to the room, waiting for his boss to realize that he already half drunk after the vodka.

“Are you drunk, Daryl?” Negan gripped at Daryl’s jaw. The stripper didn’t answer and just kept looking at him. He slapped him in the cheek until it reddened and painful. Seeing Daryl didn’t even flinched he kept slapping him and pushing him until he fell to the floor. 

“Take this, take this shit!” Negan forced Daryl to take some ecstasy pills. He pushed them into his mouth and forced him to swallow. Daryl almost choked when he had to take those pills down his throat without water. 

“How dare you drunk before you please me!” Negan took his cock out and pushed Daryl’s head close to suck him off. 

Daryl was shock with that raging shaft fucking his throat. He felt he wanted to throw up but he couldn’t. He knew the pain was too much to bear but he survived. He kept doing that, for the money he desperately wanted. 

“Tell Daddy that you are such a bad boy,” Negan gripped at Daryl’s hair painfully. 

Daryl looked up at Negan, trying to say what he had to say but he just made that choked noise with his boss cock down his throat. 

Negan pulled off. He laughed at how helpless Daryl was, drooling all over his mouth and burst in tears.

“I’m a bad boy, Daddy, punish me,” Daryl stuttered. 

The boss hummed and giggled. He took his own clothes off before pushing the stripper into his bed on four like usual. He smacked that white bulgy ass until it turned red in pain. Preparing a condom on his cock and then he dipped one finger in followed by two and three and four without mercy. 

Daryl moaned in the constant pain on his hole. The ecstasy only helped a little bit, mostly it just made him feel worse. With Negan’s hands pulled inhumanely at his hair, he almost cried at the torture. 

Negan pushed his cock in after he lied Daryl down on his back. He looked at his eyes in the nastiest way the redneck had ever seen. Hand choked at his neck while kept rocking hard against his hips. 

“Please, please, don’t,” Daryl begged when Negan choked tighter on his throat. He almost ran out of oxygen and it was agonizingly torturing him. 

“You deserve this, little bitch!” Negan slammed hard inside, didn’t even care how hurt it should be. 

Daryl really wanted to punch Negan right on his face, but he couldn’t. The drug Negan gave to him forced him to be more submissive and went against his own sense. He hated the fact that he put himself into the game. Paul had once warned him about this, but he insisted for the money Negan promised. He was paid twice all male strippers here. Being a male stripper wasn’t as easy as female stripper, most of them only made three hundred dollars per week, and Daryl made it twice. He made it twice with an agreement of sadomasochism game like this. Even six hundred dollars every week was still inadequate for Merle’s hospital cost. It looked more like he paid for somebody’s life with his own.

No one down there would hear how Daryl moaned and cried in this sexual torture. Even if he tried to be louder, no one would care too much about it. This world didn’t want to hear, not even himself. He hated to be put in that situation, but he chose to be on it as well. It was a hard and confusing decision he made. There was no opportunity for him out there, nothing but here, where Negan would employing a male stripper who was older than 40 year old, a man without six-pack abs or perfect gym built shit like others. He worked here as an exception—a fatal exception. 

“Yer gonna kill me, stop it!” Daryl shouted and snapped Negan’s hand away from his throat. 

“Ah, daddy’s boy is going really really bad!” Negan grinned at the glare Daryl gave to him, “look what daddy’s boy can do!” he hit Daryl in his face, not once but twice, and three times and more. 

The bedspread was covered in blood running down Daryl’s nose. Daryl writhed into the painful sensation. The top of his head was pushed against the head of the bed over and over as Negan pumped into him brutally. The blood ran down his mouth, down his throat and he felt he should be dead now from choking. 

“You gotta learn how to please daddy, not to fuck around with him!” Negan’s thrusts went crazier and uncontrolled, but Daryl could no longer feel how hurt it was down there. He felt really light like he was going to pass out. 

Negan came, always with that annoying sound of pleasure. He put his clothes on. Looking at the used condom on the nightstand, he poured his own load down to Daryl’s face. And then, he threw seven hundreds dollar on the bed before walking away with that psychotic smile on. 

Covered in blood and cum, Daryl sniffed. He burst in tears, tried not so hard to cry, but he was emotionally unstable after the drugs. He didn’t manage to literally clean up, it was even too hard to stand up. So he just used the bedspread to clean his face before moving to the cleaner side of the bed and tried to sleep after a long exhausting day. 

He ignored the money. He would collect them later when he woke up. There was actually no pain he couldn’t bear. He had been shot twice or more during his military years, but he survived. He had been in a fatal motorbike accident and he made it, even though with a platinum plate planted under his right eye socket. But those wounds and pains were much better than this, than when he should sell his body to be abused by others this way. A pain and wound with no dignity, he called it. 

Pulling the blanket up to cover his body, he tried to smile. He closed his eyes and tried to forget what had happened to him and remembered the moment he took Rick on a ride. The moment he felt his heartbeat against his back, too naïve for a man like him, but sometimes he just needed an escape. He lied down at his side, wiping the remaining blood flowing out of his nose, looking out of the window where the lamplights slowly blurred before turned dark as he fell asleep. 

 

Daryl opened his eyes. It was a nice morning with sun shine peeking through the window. It should be nice for him too, but the drugs and the hell happened last night gave him a hangover. He sniffed and felt how dry his throat was after last night. The ecstasy made him almost dehydrated and he struggled so hard to walk to the bathroom and drank the water right from the sink. He looked into the mirror and washed the blood and semen stain from his face. Those small deep blue eyes kept looking at the reflection of a naked man with bloodstain made some little trails down his neck to his chest and abs. He looked horrible that way, so he decided to take a morning shower after. 

Back to the bedroom, he collected the money, secured it in his bathrobe pocket. He left the room, going back to the dressing room downstairs and get dressed. Merle would have been waiting for his visit this morning. He knew he wouldn’t wake up, perhaps before his second surgery, but his brother could feel his presence when he was there. 

One stop on a coffee shop, he enjoyed a sandwich and a cup of black coffee with no sugar. He needed energy to ride all day. Some cigarette would also help. There was so much burden in his eyes if someone would like to look at him deeply, but no one cares, so didn’t he. He acted like nothing happened last night, even though with that reddened and bruised nose. 

So he rode through the traffic this morning to get into the hospital. When he was there, he just stood up before the door, looking at his brother lied down, sleeping in uncertainty with life support around him. No, this wasn’t Merle Dixon he wanted to see, but poor Daryl this was the reality. 

Daryl stepped into the room after the nurse gave him permission. He sat next to his brother’s bed, looking at him with those painful and hopeful eyes. This wasn’t kind of life he wanted to have. It was alright if Merle sold drugs or drifting like before, he just didn’t want him to be a dead man this way. 

He kept looking at that old helpless man. Fifteen years older than him made Merle looked more like his father than his brother. Yet, it was what happened. Their father died from alcohol overdose when he was five and their mother followed not so long after. She was also a terrible alcoholic, drunk as hell and burned her bed when she fell asleep after forgot to put the cigarette off. She burned their old stink house along with herself. So, Daryl followed Merle anywhere he went, coming everyday to the jail when Merle was arrested for some fight or vandalism. The only time Merle left him was the military draft. Merle was in The Army when he was old enough to take care of himself. He lived and went to school with Merle’s wages in The Army. His brother was everything, even though he wasn't the best brother ever, he was the last thing he wanted to lose in this life. 

The moment Daryl decided to leave, the doctor came in. She told him that the surgery would be conducted this week. It was a very risky surgery but they thought it was the only way to save Merle’s life. As he left the hospital, he felt incredibly anxious. An anxiety either on how his brother would survive this surgery or would be gone forever. 

He thought about the money, was it enough to pay for saving Merle's life? If it wasn't and he should break himself for more money, he would willingly do that, though he had to bleed and hurt again...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it the right time to be honest?

Rick could hardly sleep these days. He moved from town to town, from motel to motel. Sometimes he slept in his truck, and sometimes he stayed in a tent all by himself. Sometimes he didn’t sleep at all. It was the worst escape he could ever think about—if he was still on his place with a nice wife and cute kid, and colleagues and job and life. 

He lived in a motel somewhere outside Atlanta recently. Something that could give a better access to see Daryl anytime he wanted to. He knew life was never better, but it made a little difference after he met Daryl. At least it gave him a reason to think his life wasn’t really fucked up—compared to what happened to Daryl’s life. A Navy veteran couldn’t find a better job for the rest of his life. He had problematic brother, spent some years in prison, got a financial problem, and didn’t even have a house. Now, his brother was in hospital, there should be more money to pay the bill. He had to work hard to make a lot of money. Committing a crime wouldn’t worth the risk of being jailed again. Considering strip dancing in a gay club as the only way was absolutely hard.

If he was Daryl, he would commit suicide. But Daryl didn’t. He lived his life, didn’t matter if he had to live a double life between day and night and he still survived. It gave Rick something to keep going no matter what happened in life. Daryl taught him how to survive in any condition. His words were always clinging in his ears every time, made him lost his thought in that manly figures. It was weird for a straight, once married man to think about another man’s physical appearance. Yet, he had to admit that he started enjoying it.   
Now Rick lied down in the small motel bed, looking at the dark ceiling, listening to the clock ticking. His thought ran straight to Daryl about what he was doing. That he must be in that club, stripping his clothes and letting everyone to touch his skin for the money he desperately needed. So cruel that Rick even thought how did that skin feel on his hands at the same time he felt poor about him. 

Rick changed to lay at his side. He remembered the bruise hid under Daryl’s scruff around the mole near his mouth. Was he alright? 

 

Daryl bit the bedspread with a painful moan. His head was pushed down against the head of the bed again and again. With Negan screwed him so hard in the ass, he could even hardly think about anything else. He assured himself a million times that the ecstasy never helped him at all. Sweating like hell he felt hot and cold at the same time. That mixture of pain and a little bit pleasure in his entrance didn’t make things go easier neither. He simply didn’t enjoy this game and just got paid to pretend he did. It was impossible for him after had his cock milked in the pump to enjoy any sexual intercourse after. He was all tired and total mess, but who the hell was he to refuse his boss?

Negan pulled out before he reached climax, “suck it off, bitch!” he slapped Daryl’s cheek. 

Daryl moved on four, kneeling in front of that cock. He took the whole length while Negan thrust brutally, fucking his throat until he burst in tears. Negan’s hand pulling at his hair and that thrust didn’t seem to come to an end. It was the thousand times he thought he would be dead because of sucking someone else’s cock. And, another thousand times it was proven wrong. 

Negan came deep in Daryl’s throat. It was the most agonizing thing the stripper ever experienced during the game. Negan came so hard and unloading massive amount of cums. It spurted out of Daryl’s mouth and painfully came out of his nose. He could be died of asphyxiation. 

Daryl begged to stop but Negan kept thrusting. He kept torturing him until he felt satisfied. His boss pulled his cock out and he constantly throwing up to the floor. 

“What fucking stupid shit you make here?!” Negan gripped Daryl’s jaw looking at the vomit splattered in his legs.

The stripper looked up at his boss. He coughed and more fluid still came out of his nose, “..’m sorry,” he begged.

“You have to clean it up or I’m gonna fuck your ass with that baseball bat until you bleed to death,” Negan hissed, forced Daryl to look at the baseball bat displaying on the wall. He wiped his legs against Daryl’s chest.

Negan pulled Daryl down the bed until he fell into his own vomit, “some good lesson for Daddy’s lil boy,” he chuckled and moved away to get dressed, “ah, you don’t get bonus tonight because you are very very bad cocksucker,” he left only four hundreds dollar on the table before leaving. 

Daryl tried to get up from his own vomit. The whiskey he took previously made it smelled worse. He moved to the bathroom to clean the mess he made. It took more than half an hour and he was still there, standing with hot water showering over his tired body. Once again, he hated himself to let that thing happened, to let Negan treated him like shit. He started believing he turned to be a masochist, enjoying the pain like a life. He still hated the pain though, but he feared he would be sooner or later. 

He decided to leave the room, not staying like usual. He chose to sleep on the couch at the dressing room. Actually he would like to leave soon but he was all exhausted so he would be waiting until morning. So lucky he only needed less than thirty seconds to fall asleep and forgetting what happened in his boss' room. 

 

Rick was going to see doctor in a hospital. He suffered terrible insomnia, for actually a long time since his life fucked up. This was the first visit and he regretted to do so. He had survived without any medication—except alcohol, and now the doctor gave him some drugs to relieve his pain. It was a bad decision. 

When he decided to leave, he saw Daryl on a hallway, sitting alone at the bench, looked like he was waiting for something. He wanted to greet him, but he looked anxious. It made Rick a little bit doubtful for an awkward moment until he tried to be as bold as he could and sat next to him.

“Waiting for something?” Rick looked at that lousy tired face.

“Ah, it’s you,” Daryl hummed, “yeah, my brother had surgery this morning.”

“How is he?” Rick grew more sympathy after hearing about Daryl’s brother.

“Still unconscious, well it’s still uncertain tho,” Daryl shrugged, “I don’t know what’s gonna happen. They said he’s gon’ wake up in the right time, said the operation is successful, I dunno.”

“Don’t worry,” Rick patted Daryl’s shoulder and the other man smirked at him.

“What are you doin’ here?” Daryl asked, his eyes focused on the small paperbag in Rick’s hand.

Rick giggled, “I was seeing a doctor, I got a severe insomnia for, ah, I don’t know how long it is. So I decide to go, and I regret it.”

“They give you drugs?” Daryl snorted.

“Exactly. I don’t like this shit. It’s just getting me worse,” Rick put the bag next to him, rather ignored it. 

“I know ya ain’t alright, Rick,” Daryl nodded surely.

“Yeah, I’ve never been alright, you know that, but, it doesn’t matter,” Rick smiled, “you look awful, wanna get some coffee?”

Daryl shook his head, “I’m fine.”

Rick said nothing and left. He returned a moment later with two cups of coffee, “here we go,” he chuckled.

“Thanks,” Daryl held the cup, “hey, you shouldn’t drink this shit, it’s gon’ make you wide awake all night.”

Rick laughed softly, “well, you’re right. So I can sit next to you here all day.”

“Nah, ya should take sum; rest,” Daryl refused.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here with you,” Rick tried to look at those small and sharp blue eyes. 

Rick kept his promise. He accompanied Daryl waiting for Merle to wake up in front of the intensive care room until late at night. The redneck already fell asleep for about half an hour ago. Yet, he was still wide awake, seeing Daryl’s head fell to the side and landed on his shoulder. So funny, he smiled at that strong bump.

He had never been so close to Daryl this way where he could even hear him softly snoring. His messy long hair felt itchy at his neck but he didn’t mind so much. Trying to be honest to himself, he was happy to be that close to Daryl. So, he held Daryl’s arm to keep him from falling, pulling him closer carefully. He looked at the bruise peeked in Daryl’s temple, hid under his bangs. So sure, he thought this man already had bad time out there and he didn’t know anything about that. If he could he would do, maybe anything, to help him but this redneck was too hotheaded to get any help from anyone. 

Rick tried so hard not to move his hand to Daryl’s hair as he badly wanted to. Daryl made a little move that got him buried his face deeper into Rick’s neck. It made Rick finally gave up and put his hand on Daryl’s head, caressing his hair that surprisingly soft. He just tried to make Daryl got comfortable in his sleep, and the redneck didn’t resist that touch, he seemed enjoying it instead.

Clock was ticking, and it was almost morning when Rick finally fell asleep. His hand still held Daryl close, prevented him from falling to the floor and his own head against the wall. And then, Daryl woke up. He knew he was inside Rick’s embrace. There was a sheer excitement ran up and down his heart. He moved carefully not to wake Rick up but the former sheriff was too sensitive to any movement.

“Hm, you wake up,” Rick mumbled with a lazy smile in his face.

“Yeah, sorry ‘m wakin’ you up too,” Daryl looked at Rick coyly while chewing his lower lip nervously. 

“Nevermind, wanna get some early breakfast?” Rick offered, looking at his watch and it wasn’t even 04.00 A.M and then he chuckled.

Daryl hummed and nodded. 

 

Two weeks passed and there was no sign that Merle would wake up from his coma. Daryl started believing that his brother could never make it. Merle depended on the life support to stay alive. At this point, Daryl still waited for any kinds of miracle to happen. It sounded so naïve for a man like him, but it was Merle, the only family he had. He thought he was always alone, but since Rick frequently hanging out with him, life felt a way more easier and hopeful. Rick stood beside him when he almost lost all hope. And it made him grow a deeper feeling for him.

Like one night when Rick asked Daryl to go out, enjoying some fun at summer festival in Atlanta. Daryl never liked crowds but Rick insisted, telling him for survive half an hour only at the sea of human. At the first place, Daryl acted really awkward. He tried to be always close to Rick, like a little kid afraid of losing his parents. 

“Be cool, Daryl,” Rick laughed, “you’re not gonna lost here.”

“Ugh, I hate crowd, and I hate ya now, Rick,” Daryl mumbled.

“Oh come on,” Rick shook his head in amusement. He disappeared for a moment, left Daryl confused and returned with two cones of strawberry ice cream.

“Jesus, nah!” Daryl rolled his eyes in disagreement, “the fuck is that strawberry?”

“Stop complaining,” Rick forced the other man to take the cones, “I know we are in forties, but you have to see life in a different way, Daryl, okay I mean sometimes, we have to.” 

“Stop bullshitting me, Grimes. I know yer on drugs,” Daryl licked the melting cream on his cone.

Rick just laughed. He made it, yeah, he could make Daryl looked better than the day before. He knew he needed to have fun sometimes. Having fun was something that Daryl probably never had for many years. 

After they finished the ice cream, they moved to the parking lot, far from the crowds. They spent times, having some cigarettes. Daryl looked into Rick’s truck where he found a sheriff hat on the backseat. He was too curious to take it out. 

“Look at this shit, ya still have it on yers,” Daryl put the hat on. 

“Well, here we go, new sheriff in town,” Rick smiled, seeing how childish and ridiculous Daryl was. 

Daryl hummed, “looks cool on me,” he nodded.

“Yeah, you claim it now,” Rick crossed his arms on his chest. 

“Ya know what, Rick, ya’ve been foolin’ me ‘round in that shitty crowds, now I’m gonna make ya pay for it,” Daryl finished his cigarette. He looked pretty serious with his words.

“Payback is a bitch, Daryl,” Rick rolled his eyes.

Daryl left the hat on the truck hood and moved away. Later, he came back in his motorbike, “ya hafta ride this, and I don’t wanna hear anything about shit.”

“Dammit, I can’t!” Rick protested. He could ride a bicycle but never interested to ride a motorbike. He admitted he tried once or twice back then, but he wasn’t good at it.

“Yeah, I know, but ya hafta,” Daryl pushed Rick to sit on his bike. 

“Ah, you’re gonna kill me!” Rick, like it or not, positioned himself as best as he could.

“Now, start it,” Daryl commanded, “start with the throttle too, slowly.”

Rick did whatever Daryl said. He moved to the left foot pedal, changing the gear from neutral to the first one and left hand on left handlebar with two fingers on the clutch. He didn’t really forget what he once learned so many years ago.

“Now, move,” Daryl said with an evil smirk on his face.

“No. I’m not gonna do that,” Rick refused.

“Fine,” Daryl jumped into the backseat, “yer gonna do that.”

Rick couldn’t resist laughing at the moment Daryl pushed him from behind, “yeah, I will,” so, he slowly walked the bike first until he reached the perfect balance and then, he just rode on. 

“Go out to the street!” Daryl shouted. 

“Fuck no!” Rick cursed, “you’re gonna kill both of us. No helmet, no safety, we will be fucked up!”

“Stop that shit on ya, Grimes, just ride!” Daryl yelled out. 

“I hate you!” Rick yelled back. He changed the gear from two into three and later four. He didn’t want to lie, he started enjoying a motorbike riding. 

“Well, not bad, Rick,” Daryl said, his lips were so close to Rick’s ear.

“I’m afraid you’re gonna fall off the bike, Daryl,” Rick said, thinking about Daryl who kept his hands on his own thighs. 

Daryl frowned. He felt awkward to put his hands on Rick’s waist. 

“You fall and you die, Dixon!” Rick mocked playfully and rode faster.

It made Daryl constantly gripped on Rick’s waist, “ya fuckin asshole!” he sweared.

“I know, but it will be better if you do this way,” he released his left hand from the handlebar and adjusted Daryl’s hands forward to circle his forearm at his lower belly. 

Daryl made a little whimper at that touch. He smiled coyly and knew Rick saw it through the rearview of his bike. The first smile he gave to Rick.

“Watch out, Rick, you’re riding a bike now,” Daryl tried to distract himself from his own feeling, but he failed miserably.

Rick giggled happily feeling how tight Daryl circled his arms against him. He could totally enjoy the night ride, without helmets on, fast enough and just hoping no patrol would stop them. 

Daryl couldn’t stop smiling. He rested his chin on Rick’s right shoulder and looked like he started getting comfortable with that progress. He literally hugged Rick from behind, feeling his body warmth and scent. So surprising that a straight man let him did it—wait, even asked him to do it. He felt Rick’s left hand on his own hands, holding it softly and he didn’t resist, just let them tangled together. 

Rick rode back to the festival parking lot some moments later when things were already quieter and many people already left. Daryl moved down letting Rick parked his bike next to the truck.

“How is it?” Rick asked, handed the key back to Daryl.

“Not bad, yer supposed to ride a bike next time, gotta be my riding partner,” Daryl smiled.

“Let's see. Ah, hey, do you remember things I said in the country bar back then when you took me in a ride?” Rick asked.

“What kinda things?” Daryl asked back.

“About being straight,” Rick answered. He felt his heartbeat started getting uncontrolled.

“Ah, of course I remember,” Daryl nodded with a hint of disappointment, “oh Jesus, I’m sorry Rick, I didn’t mean to, I mean, shouldn’t touch ya that way,” he referred to the time he hugged Rick in the ride.

“What are you talking about, Daryl?” Rick knew Daryl missed his point.

“I know yer straight and I ain’t but I shouldn’t do that, yeah, sorry man,” Daryl started feeling guilty.

“That’s not my point,” Rick tried to explain.

“What?” Daryl winced.

“Fuck that thing, I don't know how to tell you, but, I don’t wanna be straight anymore,” Rick stopped, feeling unready to tell but he was pushed by something inside his heart.

“Yeah?” Daryl got more confused with Rick’s awkwardness.

“I don’t wanna lie to myself anymore. I know I like you since the first time we met in the repair shop. I need more times to admit it, Daryl. Listen, this sounds stupid but…”

Daryl felt something falling against him from the above. 

Rick didn’t say anything, he just pulled Daryl close against him and kissed his lips softly.

Daryl didn’t refuse that kiss at all. He enjoyed the softness Rick gave to him, no tongue, just lips against lips and it tasted very sweet. 

“Yeah, me too,” Daryl whispered when they finished.

They looked at each other’s eyes. There was no words to say, they knew they’re madly in love now. Something unbelievable just happened and their heartbeat would never lie to show how surprised they were as they finally made it. 

Daryl caressed Rick’s face, touching his stubble and his lips. He leaned forward and started kissing him again. It was deeper and more intense this time. He tried to show Rick that he wanted him badly and let Rick kissing back with all greatness he had. If he could, he would never let this kiss ended forever.

There, they were kissing under the moonlight of a midsummer night. With no one around, only the quiet sounds of nightly winds that blew stronger and made them embraced each other tightly. That night gave both of them one more chance to survive the unpleasant life they faced everyday. It was once all alone, but now they united and there would be possibilities that they would grow stronger and tougher with this--something they called _love_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some Rickyl first kiss for your Christmas ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the closer the better

The first week spent really awkward for both Daryl and Rick. Everything needed time, more time. Things apparently got better since they committed to be together but some still had to be fixed for sure. Daryl never had any relationship with anyone before, the farthest thing he did with a guy was just random one night stands, plus he was a very awkward person who didn’t get along with people—especially in an intimate way. And, Rick was just broken from marriage failure. It wasn’t only Lori, his ex wife who cheated with Shane, his best friend, the problem he had in his job made domestic thing a total mess. He was a man under depression who tried to escape from anything, and now he had to start a relationship with someone. It was with a man too, another brand new things that made him clumsy at anything. 

Fortunately, both of them managed things very well. They started with cute kisses, holding hands and cuddling when they met—if Daryl wasn’t working of course. Some simple chats by phone everyday also made everything got better. Moreover, Negan wasn’t around these last few days as Paul told that he was somewhere out of the country. It was good news, especially when Paul said he would probably be there for awhile to see his wife or something. 

Rick didn’t say anything about Daryl kept doing strip dancing in the club, as long as no man tried to break the rule and touched his man inappropriately. He didn’t know anything about that abusive game Daryl was into, and Daryl had no intention to tell him about it soon. Daryl probably would never let him know even if the already quitted from the job someday as he already planned to. Daryl didn’t want to lie to him, but he also didn’t want to break his heart too. 

So, Rick stood at the back of the crowd, seeing his boyfriend moved to the stage in a sheriff uniform, wearing his hat. He laughed at that hat because once he wore it by himself and now that thing was up the stage as a male stripper property. Daryl turned to be a naughty sheriff and he was proud of it. If he was still a sheriff, he would probably be mad at his boyfriend but it was just a past, so he let it be.

Daryl, as usual, doing his step by step stripping started from his uniform shirt. He did every step very slowly to make everyone got hot under their pants. The naughty old-school rock music was played and his moves started getting provocative. One hand inside his pants, he simulated a masturbation in front of hundreds men. He found Rick at the crowds, seeing his face reddened and tried so hard not to laugh. 

Daryl started exploring the pole before he took his pants off. He held tight on the pole and jumped up before start spinning and stretching his legs at one side with hands levering his weight. It was so amazing to see the bulgy figured man doing things like he was as light as a feather. But now, Rick found the answer why Daryl’s arms were amazingly toned that way. 

After the pole dancing in pants, Daryl decided to take it off. The black colored thong was the only thing left after he took that hat off and his boots as well. He kneeled behind the pool, both hands moved up and down rhythmically. He made a seductive face and those hands moved faster like he was jerking somebody off.  
Rick blushed so bad and he couldn’t hide it anymore. He was jealous when every man here shouting naughty things about his boyfriend, but he stayed calm because he had more rights to touch that body more than anyone here. What made it bad was he had never touch that stripper before—touched him more intimately than just sweet kissing and cuddling. 

Daryl lifted his legs up at the pole and let his head down. His hands gripped tight to hold his weight at the right place. When he did pole dancing, he made it slow and more artistic than just another strip dancing like usual. He moved beautifully, changing the angle and the position. Now his head turned up, both legs stretch straight to forward, so amazing he did it with only a thin layer of clothes covering his body. When he spun around, he deliberately let everyone looked at his ass. He stretched his legs wide and his toned buttocks glowing in the spotlights. He kept his position and lowering himself with only his hands adjusting the distance between his body and the stage floor. Everyone got the sign for money slipping. They moved forward, trying so hard to slip their money in Daryl’s thong. The stripper moved his bottom back and forth sensually and let those men touching his thighs and legs in lust. And then, the show was over.

With all money he had on his thong, Daryl gave saluted his fans and disappeared to the backstage. He put the money on the table, waiting for Paul to take care of them. As usual, he cleaned up but unusually he got dressed immediately. He knew Negan wasn’t around, so he decided to go out with Rick tonight. He asked Rick to go to the dressing room by phone, letting him see what was behind the business of men’s striptease. 

“So, who is this?” Paul crossed his arms on his chest. He smiled wide and warm like he always do.

“It’s Rick,” Daryl answered, “and Rick, this is Paul.”

Rick smiled and shook Paul’s hand. He was feeling awkward in the middle of guys who mostly didn’t dress in this dressing room.

“Are you Daryl’s boyfriend?” Paul squinted, he lowered his voice.

Daryl scoffed and nudged Rick’s ribcage.

“Something like that,” Rick chuckled.

“Alright,” Paul nodded, switching his big round eyes from Daryl to Rick, “why don’t you go out for a drink and spending nice night together tonight?”

Daryl got the message. Paul tried to assure him that as long as Negan wasn’t here, he could have his time with his boyfriend as free as he wanted. 

“Yer a bad buddy, Paul, ya want us to go, alright,” Daryl shook his head playfully. 

“And I want your key. You promised me to lemme ride your bike last week,” Paul said.

“Hey I’ve never say anythin’ bout that!” Daryl frowned.

“You did, Daryl,” Paul made an annoying face.

“Nah, not my bike, ya asshole,” Daryl scorned. He knew if this was a scenario, but he couldn’t stand when it was about his bike going to be away with someone else.

“I’m gonna get it back to you safely tomorrow, I’m a man of my words, okay?” Paul smirked. He just wanted Daryl to get more intimate time with Rick, so he made this scenario himself. Daryl told him about this guy few weeks ago, and now he really dated him. He knew how unhappy Daryl was with his life, and his relationship with Negan, so he just tried to help. 

“Come on, Daryl, he is right, ain’t it?” Rick looked at Paul and couldn’t stop giggling.

“Fine,” Daryl bit his lower lip and gave his key to Paul, “one scratch only and I’m gonna kill ya, remember?” he scowled but not seriously.

“Yes, sir,” Paul laughed victoriously, “see ya tomorrow, and, have a nice night.”

Rick smiled and left but Paul pulled Daryl’s arm before he followed leaving the club, “don’t waste your time, you want it and he wants it too, do it tonight.”

“Ya losin yer mind, Paul?” Daryl hissed, “it’s too soon, dammit.”

“This ain’t the first time you doing this thing, you know that,” Paul insisted.

“Come on, man. It ain’t the shit I give to Negan, ain’t kinda thing. I’ve never been in this thing before, it’s different, I love this man’s heart, not only want him to fuck me like always before,” Daryl tried to explain.

“Okay, not only, so it is included. Make it fun, as fun as you’ve ever been, you can do that, you just think bout too much fuckin things,” Paul said.

“I dunno, man, maybe he doesn’t wanna do it now, or whatever I dunno what shit would happen after this,” Daryl shrugged and rolled his eyes in confusion.

“Alright, but just don’t waste your fuckin time, period!” Paul let Daryl go.

“I can’t promise ya, it ain’t as easy as pulling my pants off in front of hundreds men,” Daryl shook his head and left, making Paul giggled to hear those words.

 

“So, what are we gonna do tonight?” Daryl asked, smoking his cigarette in the passenger seat.

“What do you wanna do?” Rick asked back. He knew this would be awkward, super awkward.

“I don’t know. I don’t do things after show,” Daryl shrugged. He tried so hard not to think what Paul told.

“You want me to drive you back to McDuffie?” Rick offered, thinking Daryl rode for hours and performed for the show. 

“Nah, it would bother ya, takes more times too,” Daryl refused.

“Oh Jesus, I shouldn’t tell you that,” Rick looked straight to the road, “you look so tired, you better stay in my motel.”

Daryl blushed badly, his toes got cold and his head got hot, “is that okay?”

“Stop asking me that question, you are my boyfriend now, Daryl, not someone else,” Rick rolled his eyes and chuckled. 

“I know that, but I just still feel weird, dontcha think the same way, Rickay?” Daryl puffed the cigarette out of the window.

“I do,” Rick nodded, “I feel weird more than you do, you know.”

“I should make you feel better, I’m sorry, maybe I need to fix things first. I’m a mess, a big mess,” Daryl said.

“Don’t be sorry,” Rick touched Daryl’s left hand, “I’m a bigger mess than you, and I’m so happy to have you now.”

“Thanks,” Daryl held that hand, “I never like a man, as I do to you.”

Rick smiled, “I love you too, Daryl.”

 

They decided to stop at an old diner outside Atlanta. Some drinks and chills would make things be better. Daryl was hungry, so he had some fries and sandwich. And rick was sitting in front of him, looking at how cute he was when he starving like that.

“I never know you have that tattoo, seriously,” Rick looked at the big tattoo in Daryl’s exposed chest. 

Daryl nodded, “I always cover it up, wearing t-shirt or something, covering it with thick concealer when I am on stage,” he buttoned down his sleeveless shirt and spread the collar aside so Rick could see that eagle holding trident.

“The trident,” Rick stopped, he tried to remember what kind of symbol it was, “Daryl, are you?” his eyes wide opened in surprise.

“I was in the Navy SEALs, served from 1990-1996,” Daryl lowered his voice, he didn’t look happy to reveal his past. 

“That’s bat shit crazy, darling,” Rick looked enthusiastic.

“Yes, it was, who knew this stupid redneck could beat ‘em up. I never thought I could make it, I graduated from high school fortunately,” Daryl gave up, he knew how childish Rick was when he wanted him to tell a story, “I started to get in training since I was 18, it takes a very long fuckin’ time full of suffering until yer officially called a SEAL and received yer gold trident on yer uniform. I beat hundreds guys in every kinda motherfuckin’ crazy kinda test, and I was graduated one and a half year later as a Navy Seals sniper. It was the first time I thought I’m gonna die just because the test they gave. What happened later made me thought that it was nothing compared to what happened in the real war.”

Rick sipped his coke, his blue eyes got big like a little kid feeling excited to hear a story, “what happened?”

“Nah, I’ll keep it for later,” Daryl teased, “We will be here all day to hear the whole story, baby.”

“Ah, you jerk,” Rick looked upset. 

 

They were so close to Rick’s motel, so they stopped for awhile on a roadside just to enjoy some cans of beer and cigarettes. Rick begged Daryl to continue the story but his man didn’t want to tell anything. So they just laughed at random things and other lighter stories rather than a combat experience. 

Rick was so happy to see Daryl laughed. Daryl told him that he never laughed this freely for many years, especially after his military years. His life turned upside down after that and so many unfortunate things happened to him. With Rick on his side, he could find another way to see a life.

“You look sleepy,” Rick said as he parked in front of the motel he lived in.

“Nah, not really,” daryl smiled weakly. He touched Rick’s face, tried to feel his newly shaved skin. He leaned forward to give that beautiful plumped lips a kiss.  
Rick moaned softly at that deep kiss his boyfriend gave and kissed him back more passionately. They started melting in more kisses and began touching each other. It started from the neck and down to the chest. 

When Daryl started getting hard, he stopped that kiss, “oh, sweet Jesus!” he tried to take a breath.

“What’s the matter?” Rick also managed to control himself as his erection began to obvious down there.

“I can’t,” Daryl said.

“I know, don’t worry,” Rick nodded.

“Can’t do that here, need yer room now,” Daryl added and he smiled wickedly after that.

“Good Lord!” Rick yelled triumphantly.

 

Rick turned the light on and locked the door. He struggled to take his boots off as Daryl did the same thing to himself. The awkwardness was still there but he managed not to make it worse—again. 

Daryl always started the kiss. He pushed Rick and his man pushed back. They were literally making out over and over until they stopped for air. Daryl could see the fire in Rick’s eyes. This man wanted him so bad and he was beyond happy about that. 

Rick peeled that unbuttoned shirt down Daryl’s arm, he leaned down, kissing his neck, his chest, down to his abs and returned to his lips. After that, Daryl pushed him down to the couch, he kneeled before him kissing back his chest, biting his nipples, licking his bellybutton and palming his erection.

“Ya sure bout this, Rick?” Daryl asked, keep teasing that hardened member hidden inside the pants and didn’t see any rejection from Rick.

“A hundred percent,” Rick nodded and let Daryl unbuckled his belt, undressing him until his underwear left his ankle. His erection flagged as it was suddenly exposed. He knew 

Daryl had better experience than him, so he let him play. 

Daryl bit his lips over that big cock. Rick was a great man, behind his slender figure, he had a deadly weapon inside. He started stroking that thick shaft slowly while looking up at Rick’s facial expression. His boyfriend looked so happy he finally got his weapon spoiled again after a long time. his hand got faster and he leaned forward to put the head on his lips. Like a popsicle, he began rub it side to side at his lips.

Rick moaned to the softness of Daryl’s lips in his cock. When his boyfriend started taking it inside his mouth, he felt he turned so light he could fly right now. No one ever give him a blowjob as good as Daryl did. Lori wasn’t a wild woman until she fucked Shane, so for many years, he had a so-so sexual life with his wife. But now, Daryl here taking his cock down his throat like a life. One hand twisting at the base and another hand fondling his balls. 

Feeling ready to explode, Rick asked Daryl to stop. He didn’t want to make a mess tonight. He would give Daryl something else too. Daryl wiped his spit covered mouth, he stood up as Rick asked and let him took his jeans off. 

The jeans was thrown somewhere at the corner and Daryl moved into Rick’s lap in the black thong he wore at the stage before. He looked down at his man’s eyes, trying to show how desperately needed he was to be fucked tonight. He grinded his hips against Rick and letting his man sucking at his tiny nipples and tugging hard at his thong’s strap. 

“You’re so fucking great, Daryl,” Rick muttered as he turned to the other nipple. He realized how a man’s body could be really delicious under his mouth and tongue and he was glad he had this Adonis with him now. Daryl moaned, tugging at his curls and he just squeezed that beautiful buttocks. His boyfriend’s erection was bad, his underwear started to get moist. 

He felt how wet Daryl was and moved his finger in the crack of his arse. He touched that butthole that covered by super thin strap of Daryl’s thong, he teased that part again and again until his man wriggled in pleasure and moaned needier than before.

“You want me?” Rick asked as he pulled Daryl’s lips into his.

“So fucking bad,” Daryl whispered before eating Rick’s lips hungrily. 

Rick took Daryl to his queen sized bed. That man was slightly heavier and bigger than him, but the situation changed everything. He could do whatever he wanted to do in this kind of moment.

Daryl lied down on his back before he tried to sit up. Rick kneeled in front of him, holding both side of his thong and rolled it down his legs. He whimpered softly when his erection exposed. So he just let Rick pushed him down the bed again.

Rick stared at Daryl’s cleanly shaved groin and his raging red cock before licked the precum in Daryl’s shaft. He wasn’t good in blowjob and that quite long cock seemed impossible to be inside his mouth. Then he nibbled Daryl’s hardened balls one by one while pushing his legs up. The redneck seemed helpless under his touch and he liked it.

It had been so many years since Daryl had sex with a man. Yet this was completely different, most of his one night stand partners didn’t like to please each other that way, when they wanted to fuck they would and then when it was over, it was just gone that way. In this relationship, both he and Rick tried to please each other, not please themselves by using others. 

His moan got louder when Rick touched his butthole. It was no longer gaped and red because Negan didn’t touch him lately. His hole was tighter and Rick pushed one spit slicked finger inside. He tried to relax as that finger slid in. The expression Rick made when the finger in was adorable—he looked surprised that his hole swallowed the finger deeper. His boyfriend kept looking at his eyes when he played that finger back and forth inside his ass.

Rick swallowed his spit as he added more fingers inside. He tried to feel the warmth, the power and the tightness of that hole. Daryl’s moans made him hard beyond controls. He couldn’t wait to literally have his cock inside him. But he would like to satisfy him with more foreplay first, like now he spited at the hole and made it wetter and better. 

When Daryl was well prepared, Rick adjusted in his missionary position. His boyfriend’s legs were up until his knees touching his chest so he could do things better and easier. They kissed for a moment, their chest touching against each other with their heartbeat getting faster.

“Got condom?” Daryl asked after the kiss, his fingers caressing Rick’s lips.

Rick shook his head. He stared deeply into Daryl’s pupil-blown eyes, “don’t need it at all.”

“Ya trust me?” Daryl was surprised with that answer 

“Yes, honey, I do,” Rick kissed Daryl’s nose, “because I love you,”

“Love you too, Rickay,” Daryl smiled, “so, fuck me now?”

“No,” Rick planted a small kiss, “I’m gonna make love to you.”

“Yaaas, please,” Daryl was drowned in the kiss while his hand helping Rick putting his cock in the right place, and he thought it was too hot to bear. 

Rick started moving, slowly and the rhythm went very well. Daryl synchronized with his hips go after that cock over and over. As a bottom partner, Daryl was absolutely professional and he was glad to get that help. They made love crazily and didn’t bother to make everyone in this motel knew they had their first night together. 

Daryl was on the edge as Rick slammed deep and hard inside him. It didn’t hurt him the way Negan did. He even wanted his boyfriend to go harder and deeper, because he meant it. Unlike Negan with his average and stink cock, Rick was a good man on the bed, his size was amazing and he knew how to please his partner very well. So poor this kind of guy had a cheating wife, he thought. But he was now the lucky one to have this man on the bed.

“So good, Rick, oh, Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Daryl felt Rick licking his ear and nibbled his earlobe. He was put nearer to the end without even touching himself.

“You like that, Daryl?” Rick whispered at his boyfriend’s ear without stopping down there to slam his cock against Daryl’s prostate. 

“Oh, yeah, damn, ya got it right, baby, yes right there,” Daryl managed to speak clearly but it seemed harder for him when the end so near as Rick hit against his spot over and over.

Rick felt Daryl’s ass started pulsating too much. He held on tight not to spill too soon, but maybe his boyfriend was already there now.

“Fuck!” Daryl cursed as he came so hard into his belly. His cock didn’t stop spilling for a moment. He took a deep breath, tried so hard not to shout but finally he did, “Oh, fuck!”

Rick almost spilled when that oh fuck signed the powerful pulsation inside the hole. He looked down at his wrecked boyfriend who just had a great orgasm and stopped moving.  
He leaned down to kiss him in the lips and pecked at his hairy jaw down his neck.

“Rick, Rick please,” Daryl trembled in satisfaction as Rick kissed him here and there. It was the first great orgasm he had after million years of nothing. It wasn’t like getting his cock pumped, it was a real bliss, “go on, baby, go on.”

Rick smiled and he continued moving. He still tried to hit the spot and Daryl trembled worse than before. His boyfriend was a mess, face burned red, long hair splayed wet and wild, and his body glowing in more sweat and covered in his own loads, how could he didn’t love this man?. 

“So close,” Rick mumbled as he slammed hard and deep inside Daryl over and over.

“Yes yes, come on, Rickay,” Daryl didn’t stop trembling, but he held onto Rick’s back, encouraged him for more thrusts until he came.

Rick moaned desperately when he felt he started coming. He almost pulled out but Daryl pushed his cock back in and he came so hard inside him. Closing his eyes for a moment, he finally opened his eyes, seeing how happy Daryl was to have his seed deep into his body. His cock twitched in pleasure as he felt his own wetness inside his man’s hole. 

Daryl stopped trembling. He giggled joyfully, “that was amazing, thanks,” he managed to still have that cock inside him and locked Rick up with his legs to prevent him from moving. 

“You are so great, Daryl,” Rick leaned down to kiss his boyfriend and fell into his neck. When he was no longer hard, he automatically pulled out and made a big mess in his bed.  


Daryl ignored the thick feeling down his ass and pulled Rick deeper into his embrace. He was something beyond happy after all of those mixed feelings of lust and love. He felt so strange with this sensation because maybe he never had it before. When Rick moved away to fetch the wipes to clean up, he got up and sitting at the edge of bed. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Rick touched his shoulder.

Daryl didn’t answer. He kept looking out of the window and drowning into his own uncertain feeling. Seeing Rick’s cigarettes on the nightstand, he took one and smoked it. He suddenly remembered Merle and everything that tasted so bittersweet. There was a hint of remorse about what he had done with Rick while he at the other hand did it with Negan too. It felt like he did the biggest felony in his life that he betrayed Rick at the very first place. Of course he also thought he never been this happy in his life, that someone finally making love to him, not just taking advantage of his body. His feelings were all collided and made his eyes painful in tears.

“You okay, Daryl?” Rick swept the long hair from Daryl’s neck and gave him a soft kiss there until he finally hugged him from behind. 

Daryl nodded, “thank you, Rick Grimes,” he mumbled, puffing the smoke out of his nose.

“You look so sad, baby, why?” Rick kept asking his man because he knew he wasn’t really alright.

“I hope we could meet earlier before this shit happened,” Daryl answered. He told the truth. If he and Rick met before all of this, he didn’t need to sell himself to Negan. 

“Don’t you ever think I cannot accept you the way you are now, Daryl,” Rick said. 

Daryl didn’t say anything. He put the cigarette off in the ashtray and turned around to face Rick and kissed him. His man wept the tears that started leaking from his eyes and guided him to the bed. He pulled the blanket up and lied down at his side, staring at the most beautiful man he ever seen in his life.

“We have each other now, you know that, you don’t need to worry bout anything,” Rick whispered, touching his forehead on Daryl’s as they embraced tightly under the blanket.  
Daryl smiled weakly, “I should be glad imma the luckiest man on earth.”

Rick giggled and closed his eyes. Daryl was the one who didn’t even take any rest all day but he looked more exhausted than him. His boyfriend scoffed at how he looked so childish sometimes and giving him a good night kisses.

Daryl closed his eyes a moment later after he was tired staring at the motel room’s ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just Rickyl first sex for your New Year ^_^v


End file.
